Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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