We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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