oh god the rape fog is back!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
