so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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