At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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