JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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