No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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