Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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