The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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