New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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