She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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