ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
