She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize