i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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