Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
