I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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