Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize