i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
