So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
