i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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