Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
