I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
