he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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