is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
