i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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