I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
