why didn't you poke me back
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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