either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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