You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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