But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
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Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
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I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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