This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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