During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
