But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
