im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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