Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i've created a new STD.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
