you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
