why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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