it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
