he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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