I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
