Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
