In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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