Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
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She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
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Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.