Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
