Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
