ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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