Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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