first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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