We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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