brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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