remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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