I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
