Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Please don't give away my fajitas
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
