I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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