Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
