got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
