the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
