I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize