Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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