Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
